A Kid Named Tyler

Lost in my thoughts

Because he is alive in my mind

In my memory he’s as happy as ever

Smiles with no regard for tomorrow

Living only for the life of today

He is so full of life

So real I could hear him

See him

Oldest image is when you taught me empathy

I remember feeling sorry for you on the playground

You said someone had broken the back of your hat

I just remember feeling like it had happened to me

I don’t know why I remember that

Snapback, cargo shorts and a tee

Cudi wristbands and Osiris sneakers

Popping your carrot top into classrooms

Part of a group I had always looked up to

Using nicknames as given ones

Holding him back when his passion got the best of him

Taking games more seriously than we should

Scenes acted out on pavement, dirt, woodchips, and grass

Outcomes only determined the sincerity of the laughs

Riding in the backs of yellow buses with orange sunlight painting seats

Bracing ocean waves that broke our backs and lifted our spirits

Telling him he could go because my ride was on the way

Going out in the rain to be certain I said bye, not knowing when I’d see him again

Watching his black Honda speed off

The memories are disjointed by time

But they feel like they could have fit in one day

His voice is so clear

Maybe that is why it is so hard

So impossible to believe

So inconceivable

You cannot accept that someone so full of life

Could now be completely empty of it

Maybe he just used it all up

Maybe we all get a certain amount of living and he just used his all at once

Spending it frivolously

But happily

Because what point is life if you’re not truly living

I cannot remember the last thing he said to me

I’d like to say that it was something dramatic or meaningful

Some type of Hollywood ending

But this is not fiction

This is as real as he was

I don’t remember the last thing he said to me

But I would bet my life

That it made me smile